Psychological infertility: causes and treatment, psychosomatics

About one out of every four couples in modern society faces the problem of infertility to one degree or another. And not always the reason for the lack of a long-awaited pregnancy lies in the diseases and pathologies of the reproductive systems of the spouses, sometimes they are completely healthy, but for some reason children are in no hurry to appear in their family. In this case, very often we are talking about psychological infertility. Why it develops and how to cope with it, we will tell in this article.

Infertility is called the condition in which the couple can not conceive a child for a year and a more regular sex life without the use of contraception. It can be primary and secondary. In the first case, it is not possible to conceive a firstborn, and in the second - the second or third child does not work.

Infertility does not have age priorities, sex differences, racial characteristics. Everyone can be subject to it. Male infertility accounts for approximately 45% of all cases of childlessness in couples, and female accounted for about 40%. Another 15% is a mixed mutual sterility, in which the reproductive functions are impaired in both partners.

About psychological infertility they began to speak openly only relatively recently. Until that time, doctors attributed it to idiopathic sterility, that is, infertility with an unexplained cause. Such a diagnosis was made to all who, according to the results of examinations, did not find grounds for infertility - there was no inflammation, infections, anatomical anomalies, endocrine disorders that prevent conception.

Doctors now pay more attention to such an aspect as the psychological state of the partners. Proved that prolonged stress contributes to the predominance of stress hormones in the human body, and these substances reduce the production of sex hormones in both men and women. The study of the causes and methods of correction of psychological infertility involved psychotherapists and psychosomatics.

Experts in the field of psychosomatics are confident that any disease and condition has psychogenic roots, and infertility is no exception.

Previously it was thought that idiopathic infertility has almost no prospects for treatment. With other types of reproductive disorders, everything is simpler - there is a problem, which means there will be a solution. Endocrine disorders are treated with hormonal drugs, inflammatory processes with antibiotics and anti-inflammatory drugs, where surgery is required, an operation is performed. But if the spouses are somatically healthy, all the tests they have are normal, for doctors it is not at all obvious what needs to be treated so that a man and a woman can become parents.

You can, of course, come to terms with sterility that is inexplicable from the point of view of medicine, give up hope for raising your own baby, or take advantage of reproductive assistive technologies, such as IVF.

The psychological characteristics of women consist in a longer memory of the events of the past and of more frequent fear of various origins. In fact, the main psychosomatic factor of infertility in women is fear. He may have a variety of forms and not always the woman is aware of it. A good specialist in the field of psychotherapy or psychosomatics will help identify it and bring it out. For the diagnosis can be used hypnosis, meditation, functional tests.

The mechanism of female infertility from the point of view of psychosomatics is as follows: a woman feels fear of pregnancy and childbirth, which is perceived by the brain as a signal to mobilize the protective functions of the body. Having received a signal from the brain to “protect” and “protect” in the name of self-preservation of the entire system, including the reproductive system, they try to prevent the onset of a “dangerous” state. In this case, it is a pregnancy.

Many women may argue that on the contrary, they want to get pregnant, but it does not work! This means that the fear is “sitting” in the depths, in the subconscious, the woman does not give herself a report on it, but the “sterility” program is already running. That is why all her attempts to conceive a baby suffer a fiasco.

Of course, in each case, fear can have different reasons. Let's look at the most basic, which in the practice of psychotherapists and psychosomatics are most common.

• Fear of childbirth, pain. A young girl who has not yet had the chance to give birth, and a mature woman who has experience of difficult and painful childbirth can be afraid of birth pain. It is not at all necessary that this fear is based on personal experience. Sometimes during the study of the problem of the patient, it turns out that a long time ago, as a child, she saw a film in which a woman screamed terribly, died in childbirth. Fear of this process settled deep in the female subconscious. It is he who, for the benefit of the whole body, seeks to protect a woman from such experience.
• Fear of having a sick child. Every woman dreams of healthy offspring. Fear of having a baby with disabilities can also cause a "block". Most often, such a reason is found in very impressionable women, who themselves grew up in a family where there were disabled children, as well as those who saw these children constantly - in the families of neighbors, at school.

• Unwillingness to give birth from this partner. This is also a fairly common cause of female psychogenic infertility. Love was, but then did not pass the test of time, quarrels, conflicts. When it came time to acquire offspring, the woman simply stopped wanting a child from this particular man. However, she is often completely unwilling to divorce, change a partner, her own husband quite suits her, but she unconsciously does not want to give birth to children from him. Quite often, this is observed in families where the marriage was hasty, where in the early stages there were problems in the relationship - quarrels, fights, family violence, where the main principle of the woman - “Sustain, love”. Sustained - yes. But not love. Many people come to this conclusion too late.

• Fear of liability. Baby - not only joy, but also care. It needs to be fed, clothed, taught, treated, raised and educated. Infantile women who cannot and cannot take responsibility even for deciding what to cook for dinner, like fire they are afraid of responsibility for other people. To the same category of female "phobias" can be attributed and the fear of being left without money, without work after giving birth, losing all the career accumulated by overwork, becoming unclaimed.

• Rejection of yourself as a woman. For this reason, women whose parents dreamed of a boy are usually subject to infertility, and a girl was born. Moms and dads unreasonably regularly reminded their daughters of their failed parental aspirations. They chose a male sport for her, took them fishing, taught them to fight and shoot. Women, who deny their nature, strive for independence in everything, for domination, domineering and despotic feminists, also become infertile. Changes in their bodies are so obvious that they begin to manifest themselves at the hormonal level - testosterone is off scale, antennae begin to grow. Such women usually have a rough voice and a male walk.
• Fear of change in appearance. After hearing and reading the stories about the "terrible stretch marks", "20 extra pounds" after giving birth, some women of the fair sex subconsciously begin to fear external changes.

• Childhood experience. Often, idiopathic infertility is diagnosed in women who in childhood have experienced violence, incest, and cruel treatment by their mother or father. Such an experience settles deep in the subconscious. A woman, when she becomes an adult, unconsciously is afraid of having children, so as not to accidentally injure them, as she had previously been injured. This is the most complex type of psychogenic infertility, requiring long and painstaking work of the spouses in tandem with a psychotherapist. Success is achieved by no means always.
• Shame. If, from childhood, the girl was told that sex is something disgusting and unpleasant, that they are sinful, that “bringing in the hem” is a shame and horror of the whole family, then there is a high probability that, as an adult, a woman cannot become pregnant because of a subconscious negative perception of pregnancy.

The psychology of men is simpler and more rectilinear. They either want a child or do not want it. In this case, the partner may claim that he is not against the baby, but deep down he will also be afraid. What men fear:

• Fear of "second role". Men appreciate and love attention to their own person. Even one thought that the first place in the heart of a woman can pass to another (child) does not give him peace. Usually men who are unsure of themselves, brought up by a despotic and domineering mother, who grew up without a father, suffer from this.
• Fear grow up. Some fully-grown married men have children's hobbies (collect models of airplanes, locomotives, launch boats on the radio, collect models of cars). This is a sign of psychological immaturity. Of course, there is nothing wrong with such hobbies, but you should definitely pay attention to them if you conceive a child with such a man as a healthy woman.Usually, psychologically immature representatives of the stronger sex leave families, where they were surrounded by constant and obsessive love of mother and grandmother, where mother still tries to tie a scarf to a 40-year-old son, or fix a jacket collar.

• Fear of change. The man understands that the child will require additional costs, that the appearance of the baby will change the usual way of life of the family. Especially responsible men are also aware that his wife will have to help, because the sleepless nights very quickly turn her into a zombie. If a man does not have a strong financial base, an unreliable position at work, if he is afraid to take responsibility, then very often he develops idiopathic infertility, which is almost impossible to get rid of without the help of a psychologist.
• Fear does not take place. If women can easily change their plans and goals, then the psyche of men is less labile. If a husband since childhood dreamed of conquering all known mountain peaks, then he is unlikely to part with such ideas after marriage. A child in the understanding of such a romance can hinder the achievement of the goal.

It is recommended to begin treatment with a search for the causes. True problems will help identify psychologists, psychotherapists, psychosomatists. As soon as the cause becomes apparent, all recommendations of the doctor should be followed. He can prescribe hypnotherapy sessions, a course of sedatives and vitamins for both partners.

Benefit will be joint yoga classes, psychological training in the group.

Experts recommend couples to stop persistently wait for two strips on the test, as well as blame themselves and each other for the situation. Waiting creates chronic and prolonged stress and does not contribute to conception. Instead, you can:

• together with their own hands to make repairs in the apartment or plant a garden in the country;
• go on a trip;
• experimenting in bed with poses, sexual sensations, focusing on the process, not thinking about the possible outcome of the act;
• find a hobby that will be interesting for both spouses, because any positive communication will definitely benefit.

If you want to learn more about the mental causes of their problems, spouses are advised to read the books of such authors as Louise Hey, Mark Sandomirsky, Franz Alexander, Nikolay Guriev. These authors analyze in detail the psychological causes of certain violations, including infertility, and suggest effective options for getting out of the vicious circle in which infertile couples usually fall: "guilt - fear - sterility - fear - guilt."

How to overcome psychological infertility, see the next video.