Dr. Komarovsky on how to teach a child to sleep in his crib
The joint dream of a child with parents has recently been increasingly practiced by young mothers and fathers. But one day there comes a time when adults realize that it is time to transfer the child to their crib. Adults need their own personal sleeping space, and it’s time for the child to get used to his own sleeping place. Everyone understands this, but they can’t do anything - the child, accustomed from birth with a warm mother's side, categorically refuses to move out. Yevgeny Komarovsky, a well-known children's doctor and author of articles and books about children's health, tells how to teach a child to sleep in his crib.
Joint dream - for and against
Joint sleep with my mother biologically quite reasonable. Previously, women did not go to work, they were engaged in family. Many centuries ago, no one thought about where to sleep a newborn - he was always next to his mother.
With the development of civilization, the view has changed somewhat. - parents realized that sex is needed not only for the continuation of the race, but also by itself, and in the morning, mom and dad need to get up for work. It became more convenient to stack the child separately.
Recently, many psychologists and neonatologists have argued that it is more natural for a child to sleep next to a parent. This maintains an invisible connection with it. As a plus point to a more stable emotional state of babies who sleep with their parents. However, it is even convenient for mom - you can feed your baby with a breast at any time of the night without getting out of bed. The baby is not crying - everything he needs is at hand.
The benefits end there. Yevgeny Komarovsky claims that this benefit is exaggerated altogether. But the cons are quite noticeable for everyone.
First, a mother can inadvertently injure a child in a dream, crush him with her own weight. This happens infrequently, it still has a place to be. Secondly, fathers often do not stand up, for whom there is no place on the family bed. They move to the sofa or to the next room, and such a lifestyle, if it lasts a long time, most often leads to the disintegration of the family, to divorce, to the deterioration of the marital relationship. So convincing advice from girlfriends and doctors to practice sleeping together have ruined lives for more than one family.
Mom, who is all the time next to the crumb, sleeps "half-eyed", sensitively responding to every movement and squeak, and therefore does not actually get enough sleep. Fatigue accumulates unnoticed. A few months of such a “bad time” lead to serious consequences for the parent’s physical and mental health.
A child who is accustomed to suckling at night at any time requires that he continue feeding at night even after he is 6 months old (at the age he is biologically in need of nocturnal feeding). That is why mom's timid attempts to refuse to eat at night lead most often to scandal, shouting. The child pinches, knocks with his feet and hands on the exhausted parent and does not want to hear about anything that goes against the regime he is used to.
Practicing joint sleep or not - it's only parents who decide. If they are willing to sacrifice their nerves, their interests - no one forbids, so long as all members of the family spill out. If adults have their own plans for this life (besides raising a child), then it is better not to start sleeping with the child.
No scientist in any field of knowledge has yet been able to convincingly prove or disprove the benefits of joint sleep, which means that all the assertions of psychologists that children who slept with their mother before school were more self-confident, successful, calm, do not correspond to the truth. However, the statements of opponents of joint sleep that the nights spent in a separate bed, teach the child to be independent from the cradle, are also not confirmed by anything.
A separate question is the age at which joint sleep should cease, if it takes place. Most often, pediatricians say that this should be done before the year, because in a year and a half it will be much more difficult to transfer the child to a separate bed.
How to wean to sleep with their parents?
If it happened that the baby was accustomed to sleeping with his parents, then mom and dad will have to be patient and gather their will into a fist to disaccustom him to sleeping together. Evgeny Komarovsky recommends to act decisively. Baby bed must be placed next to an adult. The child’s bed should be placed as close as possible to the parent bed. When it is time to go to bed, the child is placed in the crib. The task of the parents is to physically stop the attempts of the children to get out of it and move to their usual place by any means.
Usually, children in their desires are very persistent, warns Yevgeny Komarovsky. Nothing unusual will happen if the child tries to get out of the cot for the first time for one and a half to two hours until he gets tired and falls asleep. And he is sure to fall asleep, because it is a physiological need caused by nature. The main thing is to be patient and not to deviate from our plans, no matter how pitiful the peasants cry.
The next day, the protest action will be less long, and in a week - if the child will fight before going to bed for sleeping, then not for long (5-10 minutes). It is very important not to change your parental decision, then the child will quickly understand that this is a new reality that must be accepted.
Change your plans for independence at night is not worth it even if the child this week manages to get sick. Once you take him to your bed, as the whole process will have to start all over again, only this time the crumb will be more assertive and stubbornly demanding to return it to its place.
How to teach yourself to fall asleep?
Parents who have firmly decided to send the child to sleep separately may face another problem - sleep disturbance. Earlier, after the evening feeding, the child quietly fell asleep next to the parents, then the baby in its own bed can long lie down, get tired, cry, then sleep longer, skip the morning feeding, get the time of daily sleep during the day. As a result, the baby's day routine will begin to change (not always in the best direction for parents).
To teach a child to fall asleep quickly, says Yevgeny Komarovsky, mom and dad will need no more than 3 days. Prepare several bottles of valerian (for yourself) and Spartan calm.
Falling asleep will be fast and stable if the child is tired. Even if the baby protested against the cot for half the night, shouted and asked for the parents, and fell asleep in the morning, Komarovsky advised to wake the rebel at 6-7 in the morning. No matter how pitiful, but you need to wake up the baby and entertain him until 10-11 hours, until the crumb gets so tired that he calmly falls asleep in his crib himself, without coaxing, motion sickness and songs. He should sleep for no more than one and a half hours, after which he will have to wake up mercilessly and walk and entertain for another 3-4 hours.
In the evening, the penultimate feeding should be small, so that the child remains half-starved. After massage and a cool bath can give him more food. Then a tired and full crumb is very likely to fall asleep quickly and it will be quiet and sound asleep all night.
To facilitate the process of transferring your baby to your own separate bed, you should perform all the daily procedures in a strictly defined sequence. Food, activities, massage, gymnastics, swimming, games, walks - everything should be in order, which is strictly observed every day.
The board
There are several key points that will help solve problems with the sleep of the baby, and also will be a salvation for parents during the transfer of the crumbs into their own bed:
- The baby will not have to be transferred to the cotif he was used to sleeping in her from birth. A baby at the age of several days does not resist a separate sleep, this should be used on time.
- Baby do not teach to fall asleep in your arms. He must understand that his hands are contact, communication, play, food, but not a dream. Sleep laid in the crib. If the kid from birth learns this, you will not have to change anything later.
- Easy to fall asleep contributes to the right microclimate, which parents should create in the bedroom: the air temperature is 18-20 degrees. If it seems that it is cold, then it is better to dress the child warmer, but there is no need to raise the temperature of the surrounding air. Humidity also matters - optimally if it is at the level of 50-70%. Before bed the room needs to be ventilated.
- The child sleeps soundly if he is comfortable in the crib. The mattress should be rigid, hypoallergenic, preferably orthopedic. Pillow for children under 2 years old is not needed. Bed linen and pajamas of the baby should be created from natural fabrics, without textile dyes.
Doctor Evgeny Komarovsky will tell you about how to teach a child to the bed in the next video.
