Dr. Komarovsky about what to do with a capricious child

Children's whims are perceived by society quite tolerantly - it’s small, it will grow - it will understand! There is some wisdom in this, because the nervous system of babies does undergo significant changes in the first years of life, with the whims a baby can “signal” to others around his fatigue, tension, dissatisfaction, disagreement with something, his poor physical condition if he falls ill.

Famous pediatrician Yevgeny Komarovsky tells what to do if a child is naughty and whether his behavior can be corrected.

If a child is often psyched and naughty, there may be several reasons:

• He feels unwell, unwell.
• He is overworked, experiencing stress (especially if the vagaries are repeated in the evening).
• He is poorly educated, he is hysterical because he is used to getting what he wants.

Dr. Komarovsky believes that any excessive manifestation of capriciousness is aimed primarily at parents. If a child has spectators on whom his hysteric acts, he will use this “weapon” every time he needs something or stops arranging it..

It is desirable that all members of the family, including grandparents, adhere to such tactics. Komarovsky emphasizes that children become tyrants and manipulators almost immediately after they realize that with the help of hysteria, they can achieve what is forbidden to them.

In its development, the child goes through several stages of psychological maturation. The transition from one stage to the next is accompanied by the so-called age crisis. This is a difficult time for both the child and his parents, because not everyone, but most children have age crises accompanied by increased capriciousness and even hysteria.

At this age, the baby begins to recognize itself as a separate person. A period of denial begins, the crumb strives to do everything the other way around, stubborn and sometimes capricious for any reason. He seems to be trying out others for strength, tests the limits of what is permitted. That is why a capricious child in 2 or 3 years - not at all uncommon. Many children's whims at this age could have been avoided if children were able to express emotions well in their 2-3 years with words. But the limited vocabulary of such a child, as well as the inability and lack of understanding of the principles of describing their feelings in words, lead to just such an inadequate response.

At this age, children usually go to school. A change of team, a new daily routine, different from Sadikovsky, and, most importantly, new demands on the part of parents, often so depress the child that he begins to act up and hysteria in protest.The most pronounced are hysteria in those children who began to practice the whims as early as 2-3 years, and the parents failed to timely normalize the child's behavior.

Infants have whims, as a rule, have good reasons. The baby does not take the breast, is nervous and crying in the first months of its independent life, not from harm, but from unmet needs or physical discomfort.

To begin with, Komarovsky advises to make sure that the child has the right conditions for healthy growth - it’s not hot in the room, not stuffy.

Often the crumb can be capricious from lack of sleep or vice versa - from excessive sleep, from overeating, if the parents feed the baby through force, not when he asks to eat, but when, in their opinion, it is time to have lunch. Overeating increases the frequency and intensity of intestinal colic, which gives a lot of unpleasant physical sensations. As a result, the baby is naughty.

Quite often whims accompany teething period, but such attacks of crying and whining are temporary, as soon as the child's condition returns to normal, everything will change, including behavior.

Most often, parents lead their capricious, disobedient, and worn-out child to a pediatrician with this problem of the year at 4. Until this age, they justify children's “concerts” with early age crises, individual behaviors, temperament of the child, and other reasons. However, according to Komarovsky, in 4-5 years it is already quite difficult to solve a running pedagogical problem, which, undoubtedly, is the place to be.

Some features of the child’s behavior during the active phase of hysteria should alert the parents.

In general, the physical manifestations of hysteria in a child can be different, up to seizures, clouding of consciousness, short-term disruption of speech functions. In some cases, such reactions may indicate not only the susceptibility of the child, his temperament, but also certain diseases of a neurological and psychiatric nature. If in doubt, go to a specialist doctor. If, in addition to holding the breath while shouting, nothing else happens, Komarovsky advises to fight this simply - you should blow the person in trouble, he reflexively stops yelling and takes a deep breath, breathing returns to normal.

Also recommend read the article with the recommendations of Dr. Komarovsky with tantrums in the child.

Do not make excessive demands on your child. His inner feeling that he will not cope with your expectations, resistance to the requirements that he cannot fulfill due to his age, cause a response, manifested precisely by hysteria and children's whims.

Teach your child to pronounce their emotions and feelings. To do this, from an early age should show the child how to do it and regularly practice simple exercises. “I’m offended because I’m not able to draw an elephant”, “When the storm comes, I’m very scared”, “When I’m afraid I want to hide” and so on.By three to four years, this will help the child to form the habit of speaking with words about what he needs, what he does not like, and not throwing tantrums with shouts and screams.

To fight with childish tantrums, Komarovsky’s parents advise to be patient and valerian.

Practice the system of prohibitions and make sure that what is impossible cannot always be. Any exceptions to the rules - another reason for the subsequent hysteria.

If the child is prone to violent tantrums, with his head banging on the floor and walls, it is necessary to protect him from possible injuries. If we are talking about a child of 1-2 years old, Komarovsky advises to limit the tantrum outside the arena. If the attack began, you should put the child in the playpen and leave the room for a while. Lack of spectators will make the tantrum short-lived, and the child will not be able to physically harm himself in the arena.

The most difficult to deal with tantrums in a child over 3 years old. He no longer just requires something, but shows character, and here it will be necessary to conduct a thorough analysis of family relationships. Often, these children simply copy the behavior of adults, their reactions to different situations. If parents manage to find the “root of evil” in themselves and eliminate it, then the baby will rather quickly forget about such a way to get what they want, like hysteria and whims.

If a child has a tendency to be capricious and make tantrums without any particular reason, it is better to give him to the kindergarten as early as possible, says Yevgeny Komarovsky. In a large children's team there is not a single grateful spectator in front of whom one could make a tantrum, and the whims of one child are of little concern to the rest. This will help to quickly teach the child to live without hysteria.

Take a closer look and find signs of beginning tantrums. Some children before this long sulking, others - begin to fuss, move quickly. The precursors will help parents quickly respond and distract the child, switch his attention to something else. This method helps children up to 4-5 years. Older guys will have to invent something else.

In the program below, Dr. Komarovsky will tell you how to wean a child from hysterics.