Adaptation of a child in kindergarten: advice from a psychologist

Does a child need a kindergarten? Should I transfer my child to another kindergarten in severe cases? How to help the child adapt? This and not only we will talk.

Kindergarten is a new life situation in which children fall. For kids, communication in the group comes to the fore. New environment, strangers - many kids perceive this as a problem.

Most of the children roar in front of kindergarten. It is easy for some to get drawn in, but in the evening there are tears at home, others have to be persuaded to go, they are capricious and crying before entering the kindergarten. Older children are easier and faster to adapt to new conditions.

The cause of childhood tears may be the following factors:

• Fear of a new environment (children under 3 years old need double care). The child got used to the house, a quiet atmosphere, next to his mother. And when he gets to an unknown place, with certain rules of behavior and the regime of the day, he has a hard time, he is under stress. Kindergarten instills discipline, which the child had not adhered to at home.
• An overabundance of emotions. In kindergarten, children get a lot of new positive and negative impressions, they can get tired and because of this they become nervous, whiny and capricious.
• Inability to serve themselves.
• The child is not psychologically ready. The reasons may be in the individual characteristics of development. Often this happens from a lack of intimacy with the mother.
• The effect of a negative first impression. It affects the presence of a child in this institution.
• Rejection of your baby by kindergarten staff. Unfortunately, this is possible.

The process of adaptation is inevitable in conditions when there is a discrepancy between our capabilities and the requirements of the environment.

Three main adaptation methods are classified:

• creative style, personality, active actions alter and adapt the environment for themselves;
• conformal style, with this style a person has to get used to and adapt to the environment;
• style of avoidance, in which a person tries to get away from solving a problem, because of unwillingness or inability to change something.

There are also three levels of severity of the adaptation process:

• Easy adaptation - behavior returns to normal in the period from 10 to 15 days; there is a normalized weight gain, the child, as expected, behaves in a group, attending kindergarten, is not exposed to diseases; Not scandalous, going with mom in kindergarten. Such children rarely get sick, but the adaptation does not pass without a trace, breakdowns are possible;
• Moderate adaptation - the adaptation process takes up to two months, short-term weight loss is possible, mental stress is likely. The child sometimes cries, but not for long. In most cases, the disease bypass.
• Heavy adaptation lasts up to six months; children often get sick, abilities and skills disappear; the body is weakened both physically and psychologically. At this time, children may lose their appetite, sleep and urination. The child's mood changes dramatically, it becomes capricious. Such a child does not talk in the kindergarten and does not play with anyone. It is unacceptable to allow this situation to flow by itself, otherwise the child may undergo nervous diseases and disorders. If the adaptation process is delayed for a year, you need to contact the experts. Perhaps the change of kindergarten will be the solution.

Initially, you need to find out what specifically hinders the adaptation of your child in kindergarten. The obvious problem is quite easy to solve. But it happens that you face a whole complex of disguised problems that you cannot cope with yourself. In such a situation, it would be right to ask for the help of a professional psychologist. It is necessary to understand what experiences children experience in the process of adaptation in order to level negative and to emphasize positive ones. From negative emotions can be identified fear, anger and resentment. From positive - joy, pleasure from new impressions and acquaintances, feeling of satisfaction from independent actions.

Immediately you should not leave the child for the whole day in the garden, three hours to begin will be enough. A prerequisite is that the child must know the exact time of your return so that he does not feel left behind. Agree on what the baby will be busy without you. It is better to say goodbye jokingly, with laughter. Just do not try to cry in a fit of feelings before leaving. Let the baby bring his favorite toy with him, so he will not be alone.

Undoubtedly, this unfamiliar period for you must go through together. Ask your child about everything, about interesting games, new acquaintances. Help in difficulties, for achievements praise. Tell me how bad you were without him. Children should feel that they are supported and in no case leave. Emphasize how he became an adult, independent, now he has the duty to go somewhere, like mom and dad. Before the rebound, additionally speak good moments from visiting the kindergarten, arrange tomorrow to repeat them again. To make it easy to wake the child in the kindergarten, it is better to lay him rest early.

One of the common mistakes is the usual lack of desire to be aware of a problem or unpreparedness for the fact that a negative reaction may be the reaction of a child. Parents may think that this is just the whims of a child, a way to attract attention. “I went - and everything is fine,” - so many argue, not remembering that at first they were also subjected to stress. Moms and dads are not prepared for the fact that the child does not listen, does not eat, does not sleep. From this, there are frequent mistakes in the form of punishment or abuse, which only worsens the situation.

Another common mistake - reducing the attention of parents, indifference to the affairs of the child, thinking that in kindergarten and everything is fine, relying on teachers. A child can get the feeling that he is not needed by anyone and is abandoned. In such a situation, the child remains face to face with stress, which may cause unjustified aggression in an attempt to stand up for himself, or, on the contrary, the child will shut himself up, detach himself and become nervous.

As I said, the separation must be held with humor and fun. Sometimes mothers try to leave when the baby is busy with something. Having finished his business, the baby realizes that his mother is gone, and when she returns, he does not know. This circumstance greatly frightens him, the child thinks that he can at least once be thrown alone, and This can provoke a strong psychological trauma.

Do not promise a reward for visiting the kindergarten alone. Further, this may lead to blackmail on the part of the child. But for excellent deeds in the garden or for something concrete, it is recommended to praise. Also, do not express your dissatisfaction with kindergarten or caregivers in the presence of a child - the kid may feel that the kindergarten is not such a good place and that there may be a bad place for him.

Forbidden rapid change in the environment of the baby. Adaptation should be smooth and deliberate. Do not allow a quick change of the day regimen and habits of the baby. All these circumstances can cause certain mental disorders.

• Do not talk with the child about the problems associated with the garden.
• Only a completely healthy child needs to be sent to the garden.
• Do not start going to kindergarten at the peak of a three-year crisis.
• At home, enter the schedule as in day mode in kindergarten.
• Increase significance hardening.
• To acquaint the child in advance with the children and the kindergarten teacher, in which he will go.
• Give a tiny positive install about kindergarten.
• "Reveal the secret" to the child about the special skills of communication.
• Already at home you need to teach your child to serve themselves.
• Do not frighten the child in kindergarten (if you behave badly, then you will go to the kindergarten).
• Explain to the child that temporary separation is inevitable only because he has become more mature.
• Do not show your excitement and anxiety before entering the garden.
• Plan your vacation in such a way that in the first month of going to the garden you can take it from there early.
• Constantly remind the child of his unconditional love for him.

Opinions of experts about when it is still better to give the child to kindergarten converge - at three or even four years. After three years, the child has a desire to actively interact with other children. In addition, after three years, children usually begin to speak better, they can learn to negotiate and communicate with each other. Also, they are already able to tell you about how they spent their day, what upset or pleased them.

Of course, all people have different opportunities, and not everyone can be on maternity leave for so long. An alternative is a short stay group or a younger group. There are such groups in almost all gardens.

First of all, the kid going from the kindergarten should be able to serve himself: be able to dress, be able to eat, go to the pot, wash and dry. Of course, an adult teacher will help to fasten buttons and tie shoelaces, but one should not think that she will always dress and feed all fifteen toddler with a spoon! Such a task is simply not feasible for the teacher.

It must be emphasized that 2 years is the most favorable period in order to train to be independent. It is necessary to conduct classes with 2-3 years. Mental development of the child during this period contributes to this. No wonder they say that the third year of development in a baby is called “I myself can!”. At this time, the child does not even need to ask to do something himself - he just wants it himself, stubbornly and fearlessly insisting on his right to do the work himself and get great satisfaction from the result.

Often, moms and dads of such a child should be careful not to interfere with their independence. Perhaps this is the most important thing in this process! At the age of three years, the child becomes independent: he eats and drinks, washes and brushes his teeth, dresses and undresses, goes to the pot in time. Now he easily removes toys, wipes the table with a cloth, carefully folds clothes.

Do you hardly believe it? But this is a fact, and more than that: to achieve such a success, you do not need to make any incredible efforts, only one thing - do not interfere! Do not pull him by the handles, do not follow his every step, do not even try to do something for him, although it seems to you that he is still too small.

Of course, in life it is not so easy to do. Not immediately, everything will turn out perfectly for him, there will be a lot of trial and error. The most important thing is patience. Not every mother is able to patiently observe the numerous attempts of her child. But it's worth it, your patience and attention will return to you in full.