How to stop shouting at the child? We understand the reasons and listen to a psychologist

The best mother is patient, everyone knows this, but not everyone can fulfill this golden rule. Often we hear and see calls for help on the Internet: "I am a bad mother, I shout at my child." If you decide to change your life, this article will help you take the first steps to harmony.

Grandma screamed at mom, mom at me, and I pass on my experience as well. In another way they did not teach.

Remember that you are an adult, you can pull yourself together, control emotions and speech. Everyone wants to have healthy offspring, and not only physically, but also emotionally. Be patient, often hug and kiss your baby. Your child deserves to live in love and joy.

The kid can not answer, stand up for himself, give a fitting rebuff. We are annoyed at another person or at a situation, at her husband, mother-in-law, maybe we were offended at work or pushed on the street. Any incident can provoke a breakdown.

Often our requirements for the child are not justified, we try to “live life anew”, we force them to learn what they have not been taught, to do what they have dreamed of.

Let the child choose his own path, live his life, without pressure and screams. Advise, reason, help choose, but without coercion. It only hurts the kid, he will close, move away because of misunderstanding, and it will be difficult for him to realize, because he is not good enough for the most significant people.

We do not know how to organize your day. We rush, run, or, on the contrary, watch the series, and then in a short time we want to have time to redo everything. And as a result - stress, tension, dissatisfaction with himself and the quality of his life. Guilty, of course, the child, he dabbles, runs away, is fascinated by something at the wrong time.

We are late, shouting, jerking "eat faster, get dressed," etc. The child does not know how to hurry, and he should not. He does not understand, but only feels your indignation.

We also shout when we repeat the same thing many times, answering the same questions. We help with the lessons, and the child does not understand the elementary.

The neighbor children are always so neat, but mine is not brought up, runs and makes noise. In an effort to justify myself, to prove to everyone that I am a good mother, we ponor, we shout, we forbid. And in another situation, the same actions do not cause such a reaction. Since this is not a desire to educate, but a desire to appear better than we are.

The kid is confused, he is upset - try to stick to your own rules all the time.Do not mislead the kid, because he can not be a hypocrite with you.

Covers the horror, it seems that now something happens. Fall, hit, sick, so scream and pull: do not go, do not go, you break. First of all, you should understand that worrying about your child is normal. Especially in the first three years after birth, the panic gradually passes.

Do not wind yourself, do not look for a negative on the network and on TV. Reassure that all children are ill, all fall, transfer energy to a peaceful course, take care of yourself and your home.

Tear off your child from yourself more often, leave your grandmother for a couple of hours or dad. Be vigilant, but do not cultivate panic.

It seems to us that the only way to be heard is to scream. In fact, it is better to find a special approach. From screaming kids do not understand what exactly they need. Shouting - it means they do not like, the child is anxious and lost. How to be if you fell out of love for having scattered toys.

Hold back! For example:

• Do not shout from afar, do not push, your wishes should correspond to the thinking of the baby. Up to 6 years it is best not just to tell you what to do and how to do it, but also to practice, to do the necessary action together.
• If your child is a leader, do not press him much, he will not apologize and will not adapt. It is better to negotiate with these children, to explain with good, to learn to take responsibility for actions.

1. Establish a trust relationship. No need for total control and unconditional submission. Ask for the opinion of the little man - “How do you want? Can you help me? ” If you need to ask the child about something important, go to him, sit on his level, take a hand or hug. Address him with patience and explanation of motives. Both you and the baby should understand that the most important thing is your relationship and love, and not completed assignments.
2. Praise, speak warm words for every good deed. Encourage your child as often as possible, no useful action should go unnoticed.
3. For special situations, get ready in advance. Tell that there are critical, emergency situations. If there is a security threat, everyone must obey the unconditionally elder. Explain that these rules are for everyone, and you are also ready to obey.
4. Try to understand the child, he also gets tired and is in a bad mood. Look for an excuse for him, nullify the conflict.
5. Imagine that the child is a stranger. Consider whether it is right that we are more patient with other people's pranks, this is not fair. Hold back, baby is not your property. Such role-playing games will help to treat leprosy more loyal.
6. Set the mode. If your baby doesn’t get enough sleep, the next day is hard to gather. I do not want to dress and learn. Organize not only your time, but learn how to properly manage the time of your baby.

In everyday life, it can be difficult to understand your own relationships, because all family members are involved in a conflict.

Consider cases when a visit to a specialist is necessary.

1. I can't manage myself in any way, there is an unaccountable fear for a child. And I tried to persuade myself, and I understand that shouting is bad. But here again I do not hold back, and I see no way out.No matter how hard I try to control myself, I can't. A visit to a psychologist will help “make friends” with your subconscious, understand the motives and causes of inappropriate behavior, understand internal processes, look for support in simple things.
2. Depression, irritability - last a long time. Distract with friends does not work, change does not bring relief. In this case, the psychologist will help to understand where the failure occurred and why there is not enough vitality.
3. Crisis and loneliness in the family. It becomes difficult, resentment and anger are accumulated, no one understands, there is no way out. In this case, the experience of a psychologist will be useful to you in order to open up, renew good relations with your close ones, make contact and analyze your own mistakes.
4. Psychosomatics. Accumulated irritation and fears translate into physical suffering (headaches or abdominal pain). All this is reflected in the well-being of the family and your child. Swearing aggravates the situation exponentially. To understand with the help of a specialist, to find the true causes of poor health should be timely. Do not pull the campaign to the psychologist.

The situation is not always so critical that the intervention of a stranger is necessary. Everything is in our hands and if you focus on the problem, you can try to find a solution and ways of self-regulation.

1. Bring yourself to life, look in the mirror at the time of an argument. This disfigured face of anger sees a child every time you scream.
2. Allow the child to interrupt yourself if you start screaming. Any convenient phrase or movement - as a signal for you. React to the restriction correctly, acknowledge that you screamed in vain, explain why you are upset. And explain it all over again.
3. In some cases, you can resort to sedatives. For example, a cup of hot tea with herbs will help restore and relax the nervous system.
4. Read more literature about family and relationships with your child. Knowledge is power, it will be easier for you to navigate in the motives of certain actions.
5. Organize your life and set the rules. For example, make it clear that cleaning is more important than cartoons. When the toys are removed, then turn on the TV. It is necessary to strictly follow these rules.
6. Listen to yourself, analyze what your anger really is about. Think well and change your behavior.
7. Punish only when calm. “I am upset because you pushed my sister, let's talk about it in the evening. Until then, I ask you not to do this again. ” Quietly think about everything and come up with an adequate punishment.
8. Do not threaten, act wisely, do not rush: excessive threats that are not executed undermine your credibility. Say that you see disobedience, and the punishment will follow later.
9. Speak calmly - so you will really calm down. Moreover, the more measured the tone of our speech, the better we perceive those around us.
10. Praise yourself. To achieve harmony requires a lot of effort, do not try to achieve perfection on the first day. Encourage yourself for victory, slowly but surely you are moving towards your goal.
11. Every psychologist is well aware that swear words contribute to future failures and defeats. Complexes, fears, nervousness - this is a small fraction of the consequences that children will endure from an aggressive family. Carry and carry on to their children. It is necessary to stop this chain in time, make an effort right now, because if you are reading this article, then you yourself understand that you are doing wrong.

For how to stop shouting at your baby, see the following videos.

Most likely, you will help exercise, which is described in the next video.