The child does not obey at the age of 4: the advice of a psychologist

At the age of 4 years, the behavior of many children is changing. This is primarily due to the fact that the child has already overcome the crisis of 3 years, and he basically changed psychologically. At this point, parents need to properly rebuild their relationship with the baby. After reading this article, you will learn how to find a common language with the child and how best to raise your child during this period.

Parents often do not understand how to behave when their four-year-old child stops listening. So the baby is experiencing the extent to which adult warnings are dangerous. This allows him to understand the measure of his permissiveness and to understand the error with which the orders of the mother and father can be carried out.

It is not allowed to descend disobedience, since in the future it will be difficult for a child to adapt to the adult world. It is necessary to explain to the child that all requirements must be fulfilled unconditionally, even the most seemingly strict ones.

A child of four years is already ripe for an independent decision and is seeking permission to realize this opportunity. Often, parental prescriptions make kids feel dependent on them, rather than independent, which encourages them to disobey.

Screams and tantrums in the dialogues to eliminate completely and talk to the baby in a calm voice. So it is easier to convey to the child that parents need to listen. Instead of a strict reprimand, I recommend a sincere conversation with listening to the opinions of both parties.

A conversation will help find out why a child refuses to obey. Perhaps the reason for his behavior is the inability to fulfill the assignment given to him, and not at all unwillingness. Therefore, it is important to understand what is what, before you punish your child.

If neither the conversation nor the persuasions of adults help, and the child refuses to obey, then punishment follows. Sometimes moms and dads switch from shouting to the use of force, not realizing that in this way they will only worsen the situation.

Such actions will not only solve the problem, but also offend the child, or even worse, they will annoy, provoking further disobedience. But bad behavior should not go unpunished. But, in any case, instead of using force, it is better to punish with psychological influence, choosing the appropriate method.

The main thing is that the child should understand why he is being punished. Remember that frequent "scolding" becomes a habit and does not reach its goal. In no case do not punish the child during an outburst of anger - the result of such a "education" can be unpredictable and far from always positive.

The age of 4 years justifies the disobedient behavior of the child. At this age, the kid is a little rebel, seeking to defend his independence. If you look at the situation from the other side, such actions serve only as a method of attracting attention that does not reach the child.

Raising your naughty baby, remember that you need to praise five times more often than to punish.Listening to the words of praise from parents, the child will strive to receive them more often, thereby correcting his behavior in the direction you need.

A child at the age of 4 must be regularly reminded what is and what is not. At this time, the baby begins to learn the norms of behavior and morality.

"No" - a word that is not recommended for frequent use. Many prohibitions can hold the baby and affect the slowdown of its cognitive development.

For children of this age, the requirements should be unquestioning and concise:

• it is forbidden to run away from adults on the road - it is risky;
• It is forbidden to offend animals - they are alive;
• is prohibited bite - This is bad.

Of course, the list of prohibited actions can be continued to infinity, everything is individual and depends on the foundations in your family. The main thing to remember: the adopted rules must be observed and all households must know.

It often happens that the kids do not listen to their parents and the disobedience continues. Suppose a child does not want to clean up behind him toys, refuses to assemble somewhere, spoils books. How to behave in this situation? We recommend the following sequence of actions suitable for any occasion.

1. To begin with, it should be said that it is forbidden to do this, and allow the child to correct his behavior on his own.
2. If he does not cease to indulge, you need to warn him that he will be punished. Punishment options can be different - for example, the cancellation of street rides, a ban on watching cartoons. It is important not to use deferred sentences. At the end of the week, the child may forget about his misconduct.
3. If this measure does not affect your child, then you need to report the punishment, fixing with the words: “Well, you scatter things, so in the evening we will not go playing in the sandbox”.
4. Probably, two hours later, the child will not remember the punishment. We repeat to him, for which he was punished, in a calm voice - without gloating: “During the day you behaved badly, threw things, but this is not allowed. Because we do not go in the sandbox.

Psychologists are also encouraged to neglect only the bad actions of the child, and not the child himself. Some moms and dads refuse to talk to children because they are dabbling. It is unacceptable. You can reasonably punish, but to deprive of love is wrong.

And one more remark: if your child does not obey you, maybe it is worth reconsidering the situation? Maybe it is not worth it and you do not need your requirement at all? Give your child the freedom of choice, and then he can no longer oppose you and, as you wish, will unconditionally fulfill your requests.

Lessons with children of 3-4 years should be pre-planned, preferably for the week ahead. Thus, you will take into account all the significant moments for the child, prevent the overload of the baby and will have time to prepare for them. When making a weekly plan, it is imperative to take into account the visit to the kindergarten. If the child is in the garden all day, it is important to consider the following aspects:

• A child in kindergarten participates daily in developmental activities and regularly receives physical activity;
• Your classes will be held only in the evening and on weekends;
• You should not schedule active events for the evening;
• In the evening you do not have much time, so you can make plans for a maximum of two classes;
• It is necessary to clarify which program is used with the child in the kindergarten in order not to repeat it, but to competently supplement it;
• For a child who does not attend the garden, the lesson schedule will be more voluminous.The lesson plan is made taking into account the existing skills and interests of the child.

The leading activity at this age is the game. The set in some sports sections is open as early as 4 years old, so if your child is restless and agile, sport will be a great solution for him. Such an occupation disciplines and teaches various skills.

In four years, a great option would be to visit the cinema, circus and similar places. For the very first time is not worth buying tickets in the first rows.

Daily and numerous children's issues require patience and wisdom from parents. Do not refuse to answer, even despite his ignorance. A joint search for an answer can satisfy children's curiosity. Also at the age of 4 it is good to start learning foreign languages. Lessons should be in the form of a game.

I never get tired of repeating, the main thing is unconditional love. The child must always feel safe. This is a pledge of proper and harmonious development. Even if he is constantly naughty, then you should not be angry. On the contrary, you need to find out the reason. Your duty is to provide him with comfortable conditions for development. And if something bothers the child, what kind of development can we talk about? ...

Another very important point: you must be an example of imitation for your children. What you demand from them is obliged to do it yourself, by showing by example how everything you ask is done correctly.

Love, understanding, respect for you and your children.