What to do if a child fights in the kindergarten: advice from a psychologist

Hello, dear readers. In this article we will deal with the issue of children's aggressiveness. You will learn the reasons why your child beats children and how to deal with it. A similar reaction of the child may occur at different ages. Someone is 5 years old, someone is 6 years old, sometimes such events occur even at an earlier age.

• Perhaps the case in health. High excitability, the discharge of which the child commits in the form of aggression against other people, can be caused by increased intracranial pressure. How long has the child been tested? Perhaps there is a reason to go to the doctors.
• Children imitate parental behavior. If pressure is in your home, hostility is in the order of things, if a child is punished by physical force by senior family members, then he sees no other way of punishment than breaking hands, and it would be surprising to expect a dissimilar behavior from his child. From an early age, a child becomes accustomed to the rule "strong means it’s right and meaningful."
• Children often copy the behavior of cartoon characters and various video games. After all, it is very easy to trust your child to the monitor so that it does not distract you from important matters. Many parents use this method, and they do not even know how much violence is splashed onto the child from the television screen or computer.
• Children feel lonely. You are only concerned about the idea that they are full, clothed and promptly go to bed. And chat? Learn today's impressions, joys or sorrows? After all, communication is as important and necessary for a small person as it is for an adult. Therefore, he climbs into a fight to get your attention, to provoke caring.
• Your child is rejected by comrades in kindergarten. Some might even be offended. There have been situations when a child is hurt and other children do not want to play with it, because of wearing glasses, due to not very good pronunciation of words or for many other not serious reasons. With a fight, he tries to convince them that he can be accepted in a group of children who reject him. However, the child does not understand that in this way he makes only worse; no one wants to communicate with him after his aggression.
• Your child is too energetic. It was as if a small motor had been implanted into it, which does not stop for a second - such is its character. He simply cannot imagine how to cope with his high activity, energy and assertiveness. So the pens bloom. Such a child, without even realizing it, can in a moment bestow bruises on two comrades, the most important thing is absolutely inadvertent.
• Children can fight for a warm place. Attention tutors, the best toys, all this does not get one child, as he used to at home, in kindergarten your child has to compete with other children.
• It is also possible that your children are simply poorly brought up. They do not understand what is allowed and what is not, what is bad and what is good. Therefore, he acts as he pleases.

What behavior does your offspring afford at home? Frequent mood swings, from wild fun to bitter tears? Maybe wipe or even hit someone from the family or friends with you? Affirmative answers most likely indicate that your child has entered an age in which it is important for him to know his strength and to know the dimensions of his permissibility.

Of course, it is not necessary to blow an elephant out of a fly, but it is imperative to show the correct reaction to such aggression:

• To prohibit a chad to beat someone;
• Looking straight into your eyes, say your ban in a confident and firm voice;
• Even if the child resists and tries to slip away, duplicate your words with the same intonation;
• You may have to repeat your reaction repeatedly;
• In the future, think about how to direct the energy of your child to his own development in the right way; joint games will help you in this, in which he will be able to run, jump and shout from the heart.

When children begin to walk, at about 1 year, not only free space for learning, but also many prohibitions appear in his life. So you want to climb higher, pull into the mouth all that comes to hand. And hears only "Do not take it!" Do not go here! It is impossible! The natural reaction to them will be mother's bite, blow, cry or cry. A fight with a mother as a sign of discontent - for the child almost an instinctive reaction.

It is important to show that such actions in the family are not allowed. It is necessary to intercept his pen at this moment. If he hit you - say that you hurt and hurt. Show and explain to him how he can express his discontent in another way. It is also worth trying to reduce the number of prohibitions, leaving only the most necessary. For example, put blockers on the drawers so that the child could not open the lockers and chest of drawers. Plug sockets with special plugs.

Every parent whose child is aggressive, the question arises: how to behave if the child conflicts with other children? Experienced psychologists who have a positive experience in the correction of children's behavior will help answer this question.

1. The most important thing is to get rid of conflicts in the house. The kid should know how to achieve results without the use of aggression, by example you need to show it.
2. It is necessary to explain to the child how he can express his anger without harming others. You can try to take a special place to your beloved child, where he will have the opportunity to tear the paper, cry, scream and stomp legs. Thus, you will let him understand that his aggression can be controlled and that no other children need to be harmed.
3. How to behave when your child is too active? Maybe he does not know where to direct his activity. In this case, you need to take the child with mobile games on the street, intellectual activities at home, so that he does not have time to offend other children.
4. Suppose you witnessed that your child hurt another child, in such a situation it is necessary to explain that he did wrong. You need to say that the child apologizes to his victim by coming home to thoroughly discuss this situation with him and demand to continue to behave well.
5. Is it customary in your home to punish a baby? Better get away from it. You can piss off and hurt the child, and if he does not understand what he has been punished for, you risk losing his confidence.The child is able to withdraw into himself and allow aggression elsewhere, secretly from you. To avoid such situations, we recommend punishing a temporary ban on communication with other kids.
6. If your child is over 6 years old and he goes to school, then you need to talk about his aggressive actions with the teacher, find out what you can do with the teacher to correct the student’s actions.
7. It also happens that a child starts beating other children after his peers hurt him. In order to be aware of what is happening with your child at school, so that he himself will tell you, you need full confidence between the child and the parents. This will allow time to notice the strangeness in the behavior of your offspring. Such confidence will avoid many problems, you can pay attention to the slightest changes in the behavior of the student.
8. Encouragement of aggression is not allowed. even as self-defense.

And what helps you personally to cope with your anger? Do you count to 10? Or do you need to go to the gym and beat the pear? Share your personal experiences with your child. He will be most valuable to him.

Here are some examples of some techniques: When I’m angry, I can clench my fists tightly and sink my legs. That's how angry I am now! I can beat the pillow! Very very. All the anger splash on her. I can depict my anger, it is colored and aggressive, and then tear it into small pieces and turn it into colorful confetti. I can growl and scream like an indomitable lion when he is angry. These are all acceptable ways to discharge.

Also splashing and discharging aggression contribute to physical activity, playing various kinds of sports, playing war games, and for younger (4 years and younger) children - playing cat and mouse, where parents and children play both as a hunter or a striker, and as a victim or an evader .

In children's aggression there are preventive agents. It's great that your child behaves well and does not offend anyone, anyway, you better know how to behave so that it goes on and on.

A good remedy for child aggression is visiting music and creative circles, participating in various competitions, thanks to this, the child develops adequate self-esteem, and he is indifferent to insulting peers. You need to pay as much attention to your baby.

However, the most important factor is your family relationship with each other. You are an example for him, the child must observe the correct behavior in a conflict situation in the family. Then he will be able to adequately transfer such a line of conduct to his relations with his comrades.

What to do if the child is fighting in the kindergarten, see the following videos.