The child refuses to go to kindergarten: the recommendations of psychologists

The best age to start visiting a preschool is 2.5-3 years. Previously, the psyche of the crumbs is not ready to cope with stress and communication with strangers. Up to three years, the relationship with the mother is so strong that not a single teacher, even the most attentive, can replace her. But sometimes the circumstances are such that the child has to be given to a preschool institution.

In order to facilitate the adaptation to the nursery, often play with peers, learn to contact with children. Cook at home food, as close as possible to the kindergarten menu. Ability to use a pot, hold a spoon, drink from a mug, wear trousers and sandals will greatly facilitate the life of your crumbs.

When it comes time to give the offspring to the kindergarten, each mother understands that this is an important stage in life. And it is accompanied by many difficulties.

• Not formed the desire of parents - it is scary for its child, it seems to them that the child is sick, not physically developed, they will be offended by their peers and teachers. Unconsciously, they convey nervousness to their baby, a healthy reaction is the desire to stay at home.
• Own memories are negative. If the parents themselves were disgusted when they visited the kindergarten, remember how bad it was for them there, the offspring absorbs from them that this place is bad. Why go where the bad?
• Fear of the future. Mom is difficult to let go of the child, it is difficult to change the usual life, where all the time was devoted to care. Feeling the parents' subconscious fears, he seeks to preserve harmony in the family.
• Great responsibility. If papa and mama attach great, often even too much importance, to the development of a preschooler, expressing this intolerance: "Natasha has already mastered the pot, but you are not." Throwing an unbearable burden on the baby, you contribute to the development of fears. And he chooses the safest place - the house, because in the kindergarten waiting for new tests, with which he is afraid not to cope.

• Poorly chosen wardrobe. The most important rule is convenience. Simple fasteners, soft natural fabric of clothes. Of course it is better when your child has the skills of self-service. If he dresses and shoes himself, the adaptation will be much easier. Intricate clothing can cause the teacher's aggression, because the offspring does not understand that an adult is angry not at him, but at the small buttons. As a result, he does not want to contact the teacher.
• Special child. For example, the fear of touching can appear when a child is frightened that it is possible to fall seriously ill if you touch strangers. Some children may not tolerate loud sounds, and in the kindergarten children are in constant tactile contact and noise. Also, the child may have problems with sleep or he is so active that adults do not have time to follow him. In any case, know that your children are in order and do not need to be redone for kindergarten. They should create the most comfortable conditions, look for an institution that can provide them.

If you are going to kindergarten for the first time, you will probably meet with the resistance of the child. Changing the mode and social circle, even in adults, causes stress, what to speak of a three-year-old baby.

Look at the release of Dr. Komarovsky’s program, which is called the “Nesadikovskiy Child”.Perhaps after watching you will be easier to understand the reasons for the child's unwillingness to attend preschool?

Gradually accustom your child to kindergarten. First come to meet, see the group and the locker. Play on the playground. Every day, find out how he spent his day. Gradually, you both get used to it, and the kid will tell more and more. What did you do, what did you eat, with whom did you play, etc. Encourage good behavior, but do not buy trips to the garden. Otherwise, it will subsequently serve as a pretext for blackmail. "I'll go if you buy something."

Lose situations that occur in a group. Suggest how you can respond to this or that action. So it will be easier to adapt, and he will know how to act in a given situation. Let me take my favorite toy from the house, let it remind him of the house. On weekends, do not violate the kindergarten regime. Learn to share, interact with children.

If you see that anxiety has increased greatly, the child shudders and does not sleep well at night, or all this is accompanied by vomiting and diarrhea - you need to immediately find out the reason for this reaction.

• Do not threaten kindergarten for bad behavior. Moreover, do not say that you will not take it.
• Do not leave the child last in the group.. Waiting, when the children have already gone home, is accompanied by sad and negative emotions.
• Do not be fooled that you leave for a moment. Calmly explain how the day will pass, sound the main stages (breakfast, lunch, sleep). Assure your love and promise to take, for example, after dinner. Of course, the promise must be kept. Support the child, sit down at his level during the conversation.
• Be patientDo not scold for tears and refusal to eat.
• Do not discuss especially in a negative way, dismissively caregivers and in general institution with children.
• Do not stretch the farewell hug and walk away confidently. Do not run away while the child is distracted, he will see that you are not there and will be frightened.
• No pills. Soothing - for adults, of course, if there is no appointment of the attending physician. Baby handles the situation as much as she can. Give time, everything will return to normal when it settles.

A few tips on how to teach a child to kindergarten, see the video:

Hold back at the time of parting, you cry - the baby also cries. Show only positive emotions, joke. If the child calms down as soon as you leave, it is probably better if someone else takes him away with whom he has a not so strong emotional connection (father, grandmother, brother or sister). Take care, rejoice in crafts, applications and drawings brought. If you refuse to get up in the morning, you can be enticed by the fact that today there will be an interesting lesson with the teacher. All moms will do something beautiful, but nothing to me.

More often say that the kindergarten is good, and how many interesting things are there. Beautiful toys, attentive educator, fascinating tales. Be consistent, do not fall for tears and persuasion, even if it seems that he can not get used. He should know that this is necessary. Be firm, but without fanaticism.

Come up with something interesting. For example, on the way home, feed the pigeons or inflate the balls in the group - everyone will play and enjoy. Thus positive emotions will be fixed.

Make a friend. Usually all the children are in a group from the same area. Meet the parents, play on the playground at the weekend, invite to visit. Kids make friends, will be bored and happy to see each other.

This he tells himself or you have noticed changes and "traces" of insults, psychological and / or physical. If he went to the kindergarten for a long time with pleasure, and then suddenly began to refuse, this is a reason to think. Discuss the situation with the child, find out in a playful way who offends him. Do not show anger, calmly specify everything.

Conflict with children: first find out what is happening and why. Perhaps your baby himself is aggressive, and children only protect themselves. Watch him when you walk in the yard, the sandbox. Notice how he contacts. This will help you figure out the causes of discord.

For what should be done in a situation where a child is being hurt in a group, see the video:

It often happens that one aggressor attacks several children. Take control of the situation, he will not cope. Talk to the teacher, ask to be more attentive to the situation. Talk to the culprit in a strict tone. Do not threaten, but tell how you can not do. Get to know his parents, maybe together you will manage to quickly resolve the contradictions.

The next step - contact your manager. In case nothing changes, transfer the baby to another group.

Learn to defend yourself. Of course, do not learn to fight back, otherwise the consequences will be even worse. Teach external calm, keep your head high, look into your eyes, speak confidently. Think of how to answer: "Do not hurt me", "I do not like it so much", "Stay back".

To understand that offends a child The teacher will help the following:

• Ask about the problem, but do not state. The question should be open, for example: “When you play around, what does Anna Ivanovna do?”
• Picture. Sometimes it's easier to draw than to say. Ask to draw a kindergarten, listen to an explanation of who does what. This will partly understand what is happening.
• Games. The plot role. Take the role of the teacher, and then offer it to your child. The way he treats you and the toys most likely takes place in the group.
• Come up with a fairy tale with your child. Let the heroes be real people from kindergarten.
• Adequately assess the situation. Look at it from all sides, the children have a rich imagination. He can exaggerate or copy the behavior of cartoons / movies.

A few tips from a child psychologist about what to do if your child is being hurt in the kindergarten, see below:

Actions when you made sure that the teacher was guilty:

• Conversation with the teacher. Without becoming personal, ask if it was. Praise the caregiver, show how you respect him for his work. In a peaceful way resolve the conflict.
• When a mentor does not hear you, and complaints continue, talk to the parents of the other kids. Find out if they have a similar problem.
• Contact your manager, also calmly ask to check what is happening.
• If nothing helps, contact the Department of Preschool Education. Team up with other parents and request a teacher replacement.

Look at the program in which the problem of unwillingness to go to the kindergarten is considered in sufficient detail from different sides.