Why is the syndrome of an excellent student dangerous and how can the child help get rid of perfectionism?

Raising a child is a very important and responsible matter. Parents influence what their child will be like and which features will be most developed in him. The future of the child, its attitude to life and aspirations depends on the parents. Therefore, parents need to have knowledge in the field of psychology and pedagogy, because the fate of their further kind depends on it.

For all parents, the child is proud. They want him to be the best and achieve success in everything, including in school. And in order to achieve what they want, parents make strict demands and want to see only excellent marks in their children's diaries. But in this case, the parents and their children may be in danger in the form of the syndrome student (honors pupil).

A child with the following symptoms, is sick with A syndrome:

• Self-esteem is unstable. Praise causes overwhelming confidence, but criticism is capable of causing uncertainty in one’s own abuses in the following case.
• The desire to get an excellent assessment of all the ways available to him. Possible deception and the lies. The child is able to slander a classmate who answered better, hide the bad grades from the parents.
• Zealous attitude to the success of other children. The child rejoices in other people's failures. So it seems to him that he is getting closer to success.
• Emotionally unbalanced. For example, if parents or teachers did not praise, hysterics begin right up to tears. The child has the feeling that no one wants to appreciate his success.
• Inability to overcome uncomplicated obstacles in their path. The student is able to stop the task right in the middle of the lesson only because he made a mistake and it seems to him that everything is now gone.
• The child is not able to accept criticism and comments.
• The child for the sake of good academic performance can constantly sacrifice entertainment and socializing with friends.
• Failure to succeed in school can cause apathy. A child can go inside and dive into a state close to depressive.

The dominant motive in educational activities for the child is to achieve the highest score, and in any way, as well as approval and praise from others.

As a child grows up, the syndrome of an excellent student develops into perfectionism. Perfectionism is a psychological personality trait with a complex structure.

The main symptoms of perfectionism:

• The level of claims above the norm. Super high demands on yourself;
• The highest standards in the performance of activities with a focus on the "most successful";
• All people are perceived as demanding and criticizing;
• A person constantly compares himself with his surroundings;
• Evaluates and plans its actions on the principle of "either all or nothing";
• Attention is fixed on its not entirely successful actions.

The desire to do the job perfectly, "polishing" every detail.Perfectionists continually criticize the level of performance of the assignment, are very susceptible to the words of others and are practically unable to enjoy the results of their work because of the certainty that it was made at a not quite different level.

In reality, the constant pursuit of the ideal often leads to loneliness, the lack of normal rest and entertainment, as well as mental illness due to frequent nervous tension.

The excellent student syndrome in a child can develop for several reasons:

• Low self-esteem. Children think that for some reason they are not full-fledged and do everything to level this with good learning.
• Congenital need for praise and recognition. Often this is a natural trait of character that needs to be identified in a timely manner and tried to smooth it out.
• The need to get the attention of parents.
• Fear of punishment. Such children are prone to timidity and are very disciplined, they do not want to upset their parents or teachers.

It is strictly forbidden:

• Compare your child with other children. You can only compare his own results, previous with new ones. For example, to pay attention to the fact that he began to succeed, something is better than some time ago.
• Reprimand for evaluation. Even if instead of the excellent mark the child brought a bad mark, you should not scold him, find out what could not be done and help to cope with a difficult task.
• Fear making a mistake. Error is an experience, an opportunity to conquer difficulty, to know oneself. After all, everyone makes mistakes and you as well.
• Evaluate your child by grades. Evaluation is only an intermediate result of a certain time period. And you love your child no matter what, remember about unconditional love. Show it whenever possible.
• Push off Even when you are not in the mood, come home, and a son or daughter will run to meet you to share the emotions received at school from communicating with classmates, be sure to talk to them. Immediately, while the impressions are so fresh. Later, their delight in talking with their parents will be less.
• Burden with tasks. You want your child to be fully developed, for this you have written him in various circles and sections. But studying takes a lot of energy, they may not stay for other classes. Your child is not lazy, you may have overvalued his abilities. Let the child choose where to go, where he will like, not you.

In children, the syndrome of excellence is most likely to result from lack of attention and love. With excellent grades, the child unconsciously tries to earn additional praise from his parents.

Seeing the student’s unhealthy reaction to his marks, try to show your love openly:

• because you need to hug your child more often, for no reason;
• smile at him and look into his eyes when he is sharing something with you excitedly;
• Speak words of love and understanding to your child;
• calmly say that you love him just because you have it;
• spend more time together, do not shut out, referring to work, if he needs your help and advice.

If you pay attention to the fact that your child spends a lot of time on lessons, invite him to go for a walk, invite his friends to visit or visit them.

Thoughts on studying should be tried to replace with more interesting things for him:

• write it down to sports or creative sections;
• take walks with the whole family;
• spend more time with him playing board games.

How to win the syndrome excellent student, see the next video.

What situations may a perfectionist face in the future, and how does it start with an excellent student syndrome, see the next video by psychologist Veronika Stepanova.